pressure, pressure and more pressure

I am not big on “scrapbook” type projects for school. I’ve had them in both of my previous degrees (grad and undergrad) and as near as I can tell, it’s so that the prof can feel like she/he has taught you something. But instead, you end up with a lovely “project” which is supposed to be a “resource” and becomes a piece of clutter. You worked so hard on it. You won’t use it because it is either immediately out-of-date or it’s in a format that is not intuitive for you to use.

For instance…

In undergrad, I had to put together a file card box of books, music and other resources for music education. Every semester I had to add to it. Each card had to have the “call number” (even though none of the public libraries used anything but Dewey at the time.) Hours and HOURS of running index cards through a typewriter. By the time I graduated and found a job, the box was out of date and/or the resources were not available to a public school teacher in small town Ohio. I finally threw it away when we moved to this house in 1996… (I won’t tell you how many moves it survived before I tossed it…)

During my (first) masters, I had to “write a grant” for a community treatment facility that was focused around the discipline of music therapy. Never mind that the health insurance industry was moving away from making music therapy a reimbursable service. Never mind that Medicare considered music therapy a “recreational” discipline, not a therapeutic modality. No. We had to justify ourselves, our profession and our livelihood for the competitive, non-profit grant community. Riiiiiight…

So this semester… I am putting together a “resource notebook” for mentoring. The problem is, the professor leans way more conservatively on women’s “roles” than I do. SO I have to walk the line between what I would do in my ministry setting, and what she wants. For instance, I have to include stylized note-taking pages from the assigned texts (FIVE of them.) Four of the books I would never EVER use. One of them is pretty “iffy.” And I don’t have a “file” where I keep “notes” on books. (Should I? That’s another question…) You’ll know if I like a book because I will have sticky notes all over the pages!

This. is. nuts. Oh… did I mention? There’s the “creative, intuitive organization” requirement. In a binder. GAAAaaaahhhhh!!!!!

I have given up making this “something to use in a future ministry setting.” Right now, I just want to be DONE with it and move on to the next class.

Maybe it’s because I’ve done this dance before…
Maybe it’s because I’m an older student and I’m not as awed by professors…
Maybe it’s because I’m in seminary while I’m IN ministry and the things they are convinced will be so “applicable” are not…

Sorry for whining. I’ll eat my spinach and shut up now….


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