For a guy, this is TMI

I have no great theological ponderings today. At least, no more than any other day. But I’m wondering about these unanswered questions of the female universe… and if you are a guy, this is probably TMI, so click on by…

WHY is it so hard to find a nice purse of the right size? WHY (when you do find the right size) must that purse look like it fell out of the foo-foo machine? You know, all blingified and stuff? I found one that sort of works (that isn’t a tote bag or a glorified leather-covered black hole). By the time I load in my wallet, albuterol inhaler, checkbook, Palm, cellphone, keys and tissues, it’s as heavy as a small suitcase.

WHY isn’t there a comfortable bra that does its job without pain, or with straps that look like lederhosen? WHY must they either look like granny boulder holders or like strumpet city? I mean, must the bras which don’t make you look cone-shaped or like the prow of a ship PINCH so dang much? And WHO was the idiot who decided that lace on such a tender part of the body would ever be comfortable?

WHY do women think thongs are comfortable? (I will never figure that one out!)

WHY do people tell a woman who is breast-feeding her baby to “go to the bathroom and do that”? Do THEY want to eat their meal in the ambiance of the Ladies’ Room? And where do you sit besides… well, you know. I’m just sayin’…

WHO thought of “wings” and WHY did they think that women needed instructions to peel off those little tabs and use them? It ain’t rocket science…

WHY do I have to wear “heels” to be dressed up? WHY is my purse supposed to match? Why can’t I find a pair of “dress Birkenstocks” and wear those instead?

There. A totally useless blog entry. That is, unless you’re a woman.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!


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