From Second Hesitations

What do pastors think about when they are working their sore knees in physical therapy? Lots of things. Putting new words to old songs. Coming up with punny playlists (church nerd humor). And laughing at themselves.

“A joyful heart is good medicine” says the Proverb. So it is… so it is.

IMG-5260Therefore, put on the full ice pack of peas so that you may withstand the instability of your medial meniscus. Stand carefully, therefore, with measured steps and unlocked knees. Wear your Buckeye T-shirt to deflect the cheers of That Team Up North.

With the Theraband and foam roller, strengthen your quads and your hamstrings so that you do not fall. (Again.) Put shoes on your feet that may be ugly but they support your arches. And finally, take up the KT tape of support, that you may lessen your joint pain and continue to see recovery.

But forget not the icepack!! For it brings comfort and ease to the knee of your aging self.

2 Hesitations 3: 2 1

Health update: Thanks to the prying eyes of an MRI, the verdict is that I have torn the medial meniscus in my left knee. I am in PT, taking appropriate painkillers, and trying to be good to myself. Humor keeps me from taking things too seriously. It IS a serious injury, but one that, with rehab and a judicious use of PT, is starting to improve.

Pizza box flambé

One time I put cat food in my daughter’s lunch. 

I left a child at school after a concert and had to go back and get her. 

I have left sugar out of apple pie and burned dinner on many occasions. 

And in the interests of full disclosure, tonight I forgot we had left pizza boxes in the oven… and set a pizza box on fire. As in, real flames and smoke. 

Holy cow, what a mess!

Then as I tried to hastily get the smoke out of the house, I stepped on a cat’s tail and overturned his water dish. 

And then — because apparently that wasn’t enough — I discovered as I started getting ready for bed that I had worn my sweater inside-out ALL DAY. All the freaking day. (I guess I should be grateful for unobservant friends…)

In all of this mess that is a pastor-chaplain-mom-wife-friend-relative… There is still love, joy and grace. There is a large serving of humble pie, and a genuine attempt to obey the 11th Commandment:

Thou shalt not take thyself so damn seriously.

I think I’ve fulfilled that one today. 

Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?

Does anybody really know what time it is
Does anybody really care
If so I can’t imagine why
We’ve all got time enough to cry

– Chicago

Today was my first day keeping tabs on the time since we ended Daylight Savings time over the weekend. Every time I looked at a clock or my watch, I didn’t know if it was set correctly or not. Every. Stinking. Time.

My car is set ten minutes fast so that I get places on time. (Yes I know that I know I’ve set it ahead– it still helps.)

My alarm clock sets itself automatically once I sync my phone to it. It’s so smart!

My phone is always correct, assuming that I remember to charge it.

IMG_6744But the piece of jewelry I wear on my wrist… who knows? The ‘extra’ clock in my office? probably not. So I spent today checking the time on my phone, and then setting (or confirming) the time on the regular timepiece. It got a little comical when someone asked me the time and I pulled out my phone.

“My kids do that all the time,” she said. “It drives me crazy!”

I nodded. “Yeah, mine do it as well. But it just so happens that today, I don’t know if my watch is right or not. But I know my phone is!”

Sometimes when I walk into a room and see my patients, they have no idea what day it is, or even the time of day… Is it after lunch or before breakfast? It is Tuesday or Friday? And who is this friendly visitor, any way?

On a day full of appointments, meetings and tasks, I moved from one to the next. Time flew. And I kept wondering, “what time is it?”

I was reminded today of one of my overseas experiences that taught me about our modern obsessions with the clock. My host country called it “tick-tick time” — we Westerners were so caught up in what the clock said. They, on the other hand, were more interested in the events and people around them. Time itself was not important in the grand scheme of things.

On a day like today, when I never knew the time (until I looked at my phone) I realized how much healthier that is.

Tempus fugit said Mrs. Shinn from The Music Man.

She was so right.

Prayer for a Sunday

henrysnooze

 

Oh Lord,
It is far too easy to find things to do
that do not feed our souls.
We can shop and dine out, run errands and do laundry,
and these are tasks that do not revive us.

Yet there is work for a Sunday
that has been neglected far too long;
work that would be a unifying task
with family or church or friends.
Work that requires time to consider
“Do I need to keep this?”
or
“Is it time to let this go?”

So today,
I will engage in a task of holy reflection,
one where I think of my many blessings,
spiritual and material,
my wants and my needs,
and Your abundant Providence.
And I humbly repent
of all my excesses.

For today, after church,
we are cleaning out the garage.

May it be a holy work.
May it be a reflective work.
And may it be done quickly!

Amen.

You might be a spammer if…

'Spam wall' photo (c) 2006, freezelight - license: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

I just got around to deleting some spam comments for my blog. I had about a hundred or so, which is a lot. I’m not that big a blogging presence. For some reason, I decided to read them tonight instead of just deleting them. I’m kinda glad I did. It got funnier and funnier…

You might be a spammer if your comments go something like this:

  • “For your self-guidance, are able to go through top
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  • “Hi from United States!” (Um. Your email address says “.de” I don’t believe you.)
  • ” Wenn man bedenkt, dass Adulis einst dieselbe Rolle spielte, wie heute Massaua, in dem auch alle grossen Gebaeude fehlen.” Google translates this as: “If you consider that Adulis once played the same role as now, in which all the big buildings missing.” (It loses something in the translation.)
  • “Excellent Blog! gfkdkkeeecfegfba” (Thank you. fdasfdsaf)
  • “Thanks for sharing your thoughts about facebook. Regards.” (On a post about death and dying.)
  • “Thanks for sharing this interesting free payday loans post.” (messed up your html there a little, huh…)
  • “When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox now each time a comment is added I am four emails making use of the same comment. Possibly there is any way you’re able to eliminate me from that service? Thanks!” (From someone who runs a payday loans website. Sorry friend. You’re on your own.)
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  • “Excellent blog here! Also your internet website loads up quickly! What host are you utilizing? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as rapidly as yours lol” (From a PC and tablet sales page.)
  • “Oh my goodness! Amazing article dude!” (I am not a dude. But thanks anyway.)
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  • “Its like you learn my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something.” (Wow…)
  • “I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this site.” (OK.)
  • “each time i used to read smaller content which also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of writing which I am reading at this place.” (No clue. I think it’s a compliment?)
  • “I read this post completely on the topic of the comparison of hottest and previous technologies, it’s amazing article.” (This on an article about Lent.)

And finally, my personal favorite:

“hеllo there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely picked up nothing new from right here.” (I’m speechless.)

And that, my friends, is why  you have to go through comment approval. I won’t be taking it off any time soon. Sorry. 😉