You don’t have to feel like a wasted space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time, you’ll know
Katy Perry, Firework
I have been restless… Pondering a lot. Thinking. Praying. Waiting. Listening. And… doing a lot of grumbling.
Since our church voted to sell the building and close last year, there have been plenty of tasks related to it. Most of them were done by others. I was more on “mop up” duty – which was what I was Called to do. It was stuff that wasn’t highly visible… like providing a listening ear. Praying. Providing support from behind the scenes while the interviews and articles came out. Encouraging and challenging church members to find a new place to worship and serve.
Truly, our church did an amazing thing. The building was purchased by long-term renters who are thrilled to have their own space. They jumped in to do minor repairs, paint, weed, decorate, and make it their own. They fill the building with families and elders, music and worship.
The money from the building’s sale was gifted out to ministries and agencies we supported as a congregation. We had a special weekend of services to celebrate all of the Seeds that were scattered. It was… wonderful.
It was also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I went there to be a part of a church revitalization… that didn’t. And it’s really too soon to unpack the whys and whatnot. Trust me when I say that God made it perfectly clear… and the congregation listened and paid it forward. For that, I give thanks!
Now as the New Year begins, I know I need to “land” somewhere. And I’m not sure what that means. Or where. It’s not for a lack of places to worship! I have friends who are pastors locally (so that’s not it!) Their welcome and affirmation means so much when I do show up in the pews.
It’s more to do with what and where I’m supposed to invest myself. It’s hard to start over again. And while I’m waiting and discerning, it is hard to sit in the pews and not read/preach/pray/lead. It’s not a judgment on my pastor friends. It’s just stinkin’ hard.
But my family and close friends have reminded me that I hold the Divine Spark. I am empowered to serve and praise and preach and sing… And it takes everything in me to open up my heart to the possibilities that God can and will do anything. If I listen and respond in God’s Time.
You may feel like “wasted space” too… but I promise you, we are NOT. Take a leap of faith forward into the New Year with anticipation. “When it’s time, you’ll know…”
Amen. So be it!
Have you considered a shift to health care chaplaincy? Lots of opportunities to listen, care, and share with people in need…
Actually I AM a board-certified chaplain and work in hospice.