Encouraged

Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy, complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. (Philippians 2:1-2)

It was not the best weekend. I kinda had a pity party…

sigh…

On Saturday, the basement drain overflowed. The result? A bunch of stinky, filthy towels. Many, many hours later, we had a clean laundry room floor and a huge stack of clean towels… And a drain that worked, after multiple trips to the hardware store by my beloved Bearded Spouse.

On Sunday, I worshiped at my friend Dee’s church (and enjoyed it!) But it was also World Communion Sunday, and it was difficult, quite honestly, to not be the one presiding at the Table of Grace and Welcome. I had to reflect and wonder… if I would be serving in a congregation again

When I got home, I was feeling “itchy” and needed something to do. The hometown pro football team was losing (again)… I decided I had procrastinated on one task long enough and it was time to suck it up, and git ‘er done! I began to sort and pack away items from my former church office that were piled all over our living room. This included the “creative stuff” of a pastor: special paraments and altar cloths I’d created or collected. Stones and candles. Strings of mini-lights. Liturgies and service planning notes.

I sorted. I cried. I despaired. While I was at it, I cleaned out an old desk and weeded out more books. And as I was sorting, I found these:

One was a book given to me by Dana, one of God’s best ever “balcony people.” I survived and thrived in seminary and my early years of ministry because of Dana’s encouragement. The other one was a “Celebration Journal” given to me on my ordination day, a little more than 10 years ago. I re-read Andrea’s words of dedication. I found entries I had made in the midst of all sorts of challenges. I tucked them into a special place on my desk to reread and use later. I paused to thank God for these two women… their ongoing gifts of encouragement continued to bless me, years later!

And I realized there are so many more encouragers: My husband and daughters. Family. Professors. RevGal friends. Coworkers. Friends. Former parishioners. A wave of thankfulness came over me.

I moved to my next task… I went to clean and pack away my stoles that were not in season. I wondered how long I would be waiting until I would regularly wear them. Then I found this one…

It was given to me in August by my former senior pastor, Jill, and the head of our church council, Regina. Their cards were folded inside. Their words reminded me of the Call on my life, that God has scattered the seeds of the Gospel through me and would continue to do so. They promised to place this stole on me when God next Calls me to a church.When and where God will call me next, I don’t know. But God does.

The lesson came home, sweet and clear:

Not only does God know what’s next in our lives, God brings friends, companions, and encouragers into our lives to help us… persevere. believe. hope. trust. rejoice. and… (dare I say it?) keep the faith as we WAIT. And even more importantly, that I offer MY words of encouragement to them.

I am so grateful for those who have been with me for this journey of service and celebration, and in this journey of change and waiting. And beyond grateful to the God of encouragement who continues to lead…

Thanks be to God!

Grace upon grace

In her commentary on the Gospel of John, Dr. Karoline Lewis uses a phrase that has become a mantra of hope and encouragement to me:

“Grace upon grace…”

What does grace upon grace sound like? It sounds like when you are deader than dead and you hear your name being called, by the shepherd who knows you and loves you, and you are then able to walk out of that tomb, unbound to rest at the bosom of Jesus. Dr. Karoline M. Lewis, John: (Fortress Preaching Biblical Commentaries.) © 2014 Fortress Press. Minneapolis. p. 160.

These last few weeks I have needed extra touches of God’s Grace. With our church, Twinbrook Baptist, making the decision to sell our building, and gift out the proceeds rather than spend down our resources, there’s been a mixed bag of feelings. At times, my joy has been “deader than dead” but then God’s grace appears and restores me.

I’ve watched my friend and pastor, Jill, and our church leadership respond with honest, heartfelt feelings – but also serve with open-hearted kindness and grace. We have embraced hope. We’ve laughed. We have worshiped with joy. We have reminded ourselves that we are Resurrection people. We have hugged and reassured. We’ve bitched (a little — just human!) And we’ve cried. When I took the last boxes home from my church office on Sunday after worship, the tears flowed down my cheeks.

But grace… Grace has never been far away. God has shown up in a number of grace-filled ways.

I found this photo this morning, snapped unintentionally by my smartphone as I headed home from working out last night. I totally missed it at the time. I was intent on getting a shower and doing some charting. This vista, this contrast of light and dark brought hope and encouragement. The beauty is there, ready to proclaim God’s glory. Do I notice?

“Grace upon grace…”

To provide a backdrop for a sermon on hospitality by Pastor Jill McCrory, I brought this quilt, a family heirloom, to use for the communion table. Its presence on the altar immediately provoked stories and sweet memories by congregants. Who knew this “grandmother’s flower garden” would provide joy and comfort for our last regular worship service? I just pulled it out as a whim. God knew.

“Grace upon grace…”

 I tried to have a healthy snack and boost to my lunch today, so I stopped to get a protein smoothie. Banana-strawberry. Mmmmm… Except the lid was not on tightly and it decorated my white pants! The employee who served my smoothie was embarrassed because she saw what had happened. I frantically tried to clean up the splotches with napkins. She ran to the back of the store and came out with a stain remover pen. “Here! Take this!” I went to my car, mopped up the stain, and brought it back, profusely thankful. She wouldn’t take a tip. So I told her manager how grateful I was and that she needed a bonus.

“Grace upon grace…”

I’m sure there will be more examples. Now I’m more aware of what the Grace of God can do in my boring, everyday, grumpy life. Maybe yours, too?

I’m being intentional. Mindful. Looking for grace every moment. Focusing on the things that show love and joy and faithfulness. Taking a short, private cussing break when the feelings overflow. (Like I said… just being real!) Looking up to see… God. There. Always.

Lauren Daigle wrote a song that is on my “repeat” playlist right now. It’s keeping me going… a love song from God reminding me to Look Up Child.

Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many become defiled. Hebrews 12:14-15

So may it be.

sdg

Book Review: A Gracious Heresy

A Gracious Heresy: The Queer Calling of an Unlikely Prophet, by Connie L Tuttle.

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Any of us who have ever argued with the Divine over a persistent, unyielding Call to ministry will see ourselves in Connie Tuttle’s story. She honestly shares the journey from discovery to living out her Call. Only one problem: as a lesbian, every time she reached a milestone, she had to fight the same battles for understanding and full inclusion.

A lesser person would have quit, or turned her back on God. Connie took on the full frontal assault of her identity and her love for God. She dealt with the society-imposed shaming of her sexual identity. From the co-ed who wouldn’t ride in an elevator with her, to the fellow seminarian who informed her she was going to hell for being a lesbian, Connie walked the road with faithfulness and determination.

Tuttle’s writing is honest, thoughtful, provocative and real. Her words are from her heart, one that fully trusts, hopes and believes in the Call of God. On more than one occasion, as she faced opposition, she had to decide: was her faith one that followed rules and sought to be pious? Or was she someone who had a call to justice, and sought to be righteous? Over and over, she chose: “I want to be righteous!” Integrity and authenticity shaped her responses.

Her journey encompasses many of the hurdles familiar to seminarians and clergy: getting through seminary, facing ordination boards and faculty committees, finding a summer internship, and coping with the self-learning (and tears) in CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education.) She grappled with how her identity would be and could be a part of her pastoral formation. Oh, and yes, as a single mom, balanced, home, classes, and parenting.

While Presbyterians (PCUSA) now affirm and ordain women and individuals of all gender identities, at the time when she graduated, it was not even a remote possibility. Even so, as Tuttle continues to love and care for the people God has called her to as a pastor, she reminds us all to tell our stories.

And Connie’s story, full of love and grace, is one you should read. One day, I look forward meeting her, because I suspect we will enjoy many laughs and share the heartaches of our ongoing journeys, compelled to serve the Divine.


A Gracious Heresy: The Queer Calling of an Unlikely Prophet, by Connie L. Tuttle. Eugene, OR: Resource Publications, 2018. Paperback: 195 pages. ISBN-13: 9781532655722.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided this book without cost from the publisher and was not required to give a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

The Reign of Christ: let the Light shine through

REIGN OF CHRIST SUNDAY
November 25, 2018

A sermon for the people of God at
Bethesda United Church of Christ, Bethesda, MD

2 Samuel 23:1-7

It’s good to be back here, and to give Pastor Dee a week off. I truly enjoy worshipping with you. You might not know that I’ve had opportunity to be in worship with Valerie before… but it’s been a while. And it’s lifted my heart. Thanks, Valerie, and choir for your gift of music to us this morning!

If you’ve read my bio, you know that I’m a Buckeye fan transplanted in Maryland. And I’m sorry-not-sorry about the last two wins… I believe there’s some people who are Terrapin fans and some folks from Ann Arbor in your congregation. It’s deep in my Buckeye DNA to go a little crazed when OSU football is on. My family will testify!

Every team, whether they win or lose has a leader. The trainers, players, fans and coaches all look to the head coach. They cast blame on the head coach when things go badly. They allow for occasional flub ups when things are iffy. They celebrate when things go well. Players who make the game look easy are often called “naturals”. But “naturals” actually give hours to conditioning, practice, study and then fine tuning their skills. There is a tremendous price to be a leader, or a “natural” at anything – and it is important for those of us who are in leadership, or who aspire to be the leader in a sport or a corporate office, make sure that we NOT sacrifice who we are and who God made us to be. The temptation to “win at all costs” is huge.

Like the song Natural1 from Imagine Dragons says,
That’s the price you pay
Leave behind your heartache, cast away
Just another product of today
Rather be the hunter than the prey
And you’re standing on the edge, face up ’cause you’re a Natural…

God asks men and women who are called to be leaders in the Kingdom of God to be above that. To be persons of integrity, not opportunists or power mongers.

So let’s take some time to consider what God asks of us as we participate in the work of the Spirit.

Our text this morning is on a week between the season of Pentecost and Advent. A time for us to take a breath, liturgically speaking, and begin to look ahead to the prophets and the Gospel stories proclaiming the birth of Christ and the return of Christ.

Israel’s King: David

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from the Vanderbilt Divinity School Digital Library http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu

Our text centers of these words of David, in his last days, speaking from his experience as king over Israel. While David was called “a man after God’s own heart” by the prophet Samuel, we know he was a flawed human being.
• David was attacked by his enemies yet believed in God’s deliverance
• He was driven by his desires yet acknowledged his sins of adultery, murder and enmity within his own house.
• He was humbled by his failures and accepting of God’s judgement
• Despite all this – David was still trusting in God at the end of his life – believing in the “everlasting covenant” – a prophetic arrow in the future of the coming Messiah

David the human being engaged in a practice many have participated in over the years: giving words of blessing and reflection. There is a sense of completion to his reign and his awareness that it all came from God.

There is no self-aggrandizement. There is no legacy-building. There is a profound prophetic word from God through God’s servant David to God’s nation. We know from our study of the text at other times that David’s to-do list was not completed. God did not allow David to be the one to build the Temple. Though his motives were pure, the prophet Nathan told him that God would not allow him to build the Temple. God’s plan was for Solomon, David’s son, to build the Temple.

Humanly speaking, it must have been difficult.

Imagine your “dream job”, your “capstone project” that you have worked your entire life to complete. And just as you begin those final plans, God makes it clear to you, saying, “no, this will be the task of that young intern you’ve been mentoring.” I call these moments “holy no’s.”

I’ve had “holy no’s” in my life. They were almost soul-crushing. I would cry and whine and beg God for a different answer. And if I did not believe in God’s goodness and love for me, they would have led me to despair. It’s only now — looking back on those “no’s” that I can say “thank you.” God’s goodness and kindness shines through.

David’s response is one of faith. He may have asked God “why?” but—  then David  responded in praise and worship. He spent the rest of his rule trying to listen and follow God. Time after time, David failed. Time after time, he was chastised and restored in grace and relationship. David was God’s leader for that time.

What is God’s Leader really like? From our text, we hear God’s leader described as one who “rules in the fear of God.”

God’s Leader: In the fear of God

3b One who rules over people justly,
ruling in the fear of God,
4 is like the light of morning,
like the sun rising on a cloudless morning,
gleaming from the rain on the grassy land.

5a Is not my house like this with God?
For he has made with me an everlasting covenant,
ordered in all things and secure. (2 Samuel 23, NRSV)

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In these lines of poetry, this portrays a leader who is known to be like the God she or he serves: God the just, the strong, the beautiful, the provider, the protector, the unchanging. The words in verse 4 suggest that this is a restorative leader, a shepherd of the sheep who leads them in these luscious, green pastures.

This is a leader who promotes justice for the people. Egypt was well-known in the collective memories of the Jewish people. They remembered life under Pharaoh.

This reminds me that, like many groups within our society, there is a deep-seated memory of racism and violence, of prejudice and anti-semitism. There are classes of people who have experienced inexcusable discrimination. A leader who promotes justice needs a long-term memory of the ways that humanity has failed in exercising power in the past.

A leader who has a heart for God is someone who has deep reverence, worship, and obedience. Again, the memories of the Jewish people would recall stories of what would happen when they were following God’s leaders. In the book of Exodus, the people of God saw the provision of God in manna – but only when they took just enough. They remembered what happened to their enemies. They saw the power of obedience, and the swift and certain judgment of the defiant.

QueenE
© 2012 National Science and Media Museum, Flickr | PD | via Wylio

We who live in a democracy, not a monarchy, may enjoy the pomp and circumstance of royal weddings and processions. If we travel to London, we stand in line and wait to watch “the changing of the guard” at Buckinham Palace. But there’s something about  authoritarian leaders that makes us squirm. It can take us out of our comfort zone.
• Because who “deserves” to lead?
• And if God’s leader is in place, what does God’s Kingdom really look like?

Rev. Dr. Karoline Lewis of Luther Seminary in St. Paul writes about “The True Kingdom” on the Working Preacher blog:

The kingdoms of this world bank on sowing suspicion and authorizing autonomy. The kingdoms of this world depend on individualism and everyone for themselves alone. The kingdoms of this world insist that hierarchy will establish successful rule and that a ladder mentality, that keeps people in their proper places, is the mark of achieving and accomplishing leadership.

Not so with the Truth. For Jesus’ Kingdom chooses relationship. Jesus’ Kingdom chooses the perils and predicaments of flesh. Jesus’ Kingdom tells the truth about the Truth — that God so loved the world.

The truth is, we like clear and simple answers, really. We don’t like grey areas. We don’t like it when we think there’s a “fudge factor” that puts one person into a powerful position over another. This is especially true when we do not trust the person in leadership that has the power to pass judgment on us, to tell us when we are off track, not following Christ’s leadership. We don’t like having authority over us who is not trustworthy, who is dictatorial and uncaring.

Christ is not like an earthly ruler, of course. We know this. But in our humanness, we transfer our lack of trust and our skepticism. We forget that in the Reign of Christ, God’s Anointed will rule with justice and equity.

God’s Anointed: Christ Pantocrator

IconChristtheSaviorPantoKrator
Christ the Saviour (Pantokrator), a 6th-century encaustic icon from Saint Catherine’s Monastery, Mount Sinai.

Who is God’s Anointed? In Eastern Orthodox and Catholic circles, one of the titles of Jesus is Christ Pantocrator. Two Greek words were put together to paint the word picture of the might, power and strength of Christ over all.

Pantocrator: pantos (“all”) + kratos (“might, strength, power”)
All-Powerful, Almighty, Ruler of All

To the Orthodox in particular, this image and expression of Christ is not unfamiliar. Iconography depicts Christ in this role of Ruler and Judge, of Christ’s humanity and deity. In the Orthodox icons, Christ is a large, centered, seated figure. The other persons or entities are smaller and limited to the corners of the art. Christ is pre-eminent. The face of Christ is the focal point.

Protestants morphed Christ Pantocrator into a more benevolent “Christ in Majesty” with a figure seated on some throne or dais, surrounded by depictions of the four Gospel writers, or saints and archangels. And as the centuries have wound along, the Church has strayed away from this idea of Christ the ruler, Christ the judge. We are more apt to speak of Christ as our Redeemer, or the Good Shepherd. And he is!  I think if you look at the art in church windows in a modern building, you won’t find depictions of Christ as Ruler over all.

Art reflects the culture… what does that say to us? hmmm…

Every time the theme of “The Reign of Christ” is observed in our liturgical calendar, we are faced with a serious question:
Who is Christ to us?
Like the first century Christ followers who faced political pressure, we have to ask ourselves Who is my ruler? Is it Caesar? Is it money? Is it passion? Is it power? Or is it Christ?

The Church is not outside the petty infighting, corruption and scandals that we see in the political realm. The Church has people who want power, who abuse, who bully, and who lie. The Church has people who misuse funds. The Church has people who are racist, ableist, sexist homophobes.

We have to own where we, personally and corporately, fail God and each other. We have to own where we have been polite and silent instead of joining our voices in protest and anger with those who have been disenfranchised. We have to march, pray, speak out and act in ways that demonstrate we know we are part of the problem.

In a few weeks, we will sing carols about the Advent and Birth of the Christ Child. The second verse of Joy to the World by Isaac Watts speaks of this longing for change and for our part in bringing the world closer to the Kingdom of God in our midst:

Joy to the earth! The Savior reigns; let all their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy!

Where is the joy in a world of pollution and greed? It can be increasingly hard to see God at work. The clouds of darkness get in the way. I struggle. I question. I get mad (sometimes) that evil seems to be so strong and the Light of God is so weak.

Songwriter and cultural commentator Leonard Cohen said in his work, “Anthem”2 these words:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

That’s how I cope. I look for that crack where the light gets in. Maybe it’s engaging in a creative act that lifts my Spirit. Maybe it’s hearing beautiful music. Maybe it’s doing something for someone less fortunate. Maybe, just maybe, I need to, in the words of poet Wendell Berry, I need to “…lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.”

Can we be the Light that breaks through the world’s darkness?
Can we bear Christ’s Light in our actions and our words?

Can we be
…like the light of morning,
…like the sun rising on a cloudless morning, gleaming from the rain on the grassy land.

Can we shine the Light of the Christ into our world?

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An early morning sunrise at the airport.

Please pray with me:

O Christ, Ruler over all, omnipotent and powerful, and lover of our souls, shine through us. Turn our hearts towards the grander purposes of Christ, of the Kingdom of our Lord, who reigns now and forever.
Amen


1 © 2018 KIDinaKORNER/Interscope Records
2 “Anthem” by Leonard Cohen, © 1992, licensed by SME (on behalf of Columbia Records); UBEM, CMRRA, SOLAR Music Rights Management, Sony ATV Publishing, and 9 Music Rights Societies

The night before I preach…

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My robe and (hopefully) the right color stole all ready to go.

…I have a million questions on what I’ve written (is it too long? is it too esoteric? is this what God wants me to say?)

…I realize I either have to do laundry or wear a barrel

…I can only find one of the shoes I want to wear

…I write my “panic list” (DON’T FORGET!!! across the top of a sticky-note)

…I find the right color stole (I think!)

…I spend far too much time on Instagram and Facebook

…I laugh at myself and go to bed.

God’s got this! CHILL!!

Prayers for the whys

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Tonight I offer
prayers for the whys
prayers for the not agains
prayers for the dying
prayers for the dead
prayers for the angry
prayers for the scared
prayers for the healers
prayers for the investigators
prayers for the grieving
prayers for the bystanders
prayers for the perpetuators of hate
prayers for the unhelpful rhetoric
prayers for the politicians
prayers for news outlets
prayers for our faith communities
prayers for the gun lovers
prayers for the gun lobbyists
prayers for the peacemakers
prayers for change
prayers for hope…

Oh God, in your mercy,
hear our prayers…

Ally in motion

It is a long night in Terminal C tonight. Once the airline’s gate agent announced a 2+ hour delay, many of the ticketed passengers either bailed to another flight, or went to find a place to eat dinner. I found a quiet corner, plugged in my headphones and started reading.

I looked up at one point, and seated across from me were two lovely black women. We made eye contact and smiled, and I was about to resume reading when I realized they were talking to me. I unplugged and we started chatting.

“We couldn’t help but notice… your buttons…”

From that cautious statement, the conversation flowed. Where we were traveling, who we were seeing, what we do for a living, how we hated fight delays… and then one of the woman said haltingly, “My dad has cancer. He didn’t come to our wedding… and now he’s in hospice.”

And suddenly, my worlds as an ally and a hospice chaplain collided. It’s the sad, familiar, heartbreaking story I’ve heard over and over… Finding the love of your life. Losing your faith community. Facing your family’s disapproval. My heart broke a little more with each word of their story.

We prayed. There were tears. And while there wasn’t much I could say to help them see their way forward, we parted ways with a little more hope quietly shining in a rainy corner of the world.

That’s really all we’re asked to do, you know. Give a little encouragement and BE the Love, BeLoved.