Heart song time…

I was at the gym tonight, working out… and this song came on…


WAIT! HOLD UP! Who is this woman??!!

Yes. I was working out. I go twice a week to work with a trainer and do some cardio on my own afterwards. A year ago, it was Physical Therapy, cold packs, acupuncture, and massage, trying to rehab my knee. Then surgery and recovery in March, April and May. And joining a gym in June.

Before that… I NEVER went to the gym. My “exercise” was the occasional walk around the neighborhood, intensive weekend yard work, and cleaning my house. And leaping to conclusions.

So yes. It’s bizarre, unreal, and words I didn’t think I would ever say (let alone blog about) but I’m working out twice a week. Back to my blog post…


I was on the cool-down portion of the treadmill during my cardio time, and this song started. As the treadmill deceased in speed and incline, I listened intently to the words. It was surreal.

My day ended on a downer of a note. For reasons I can’t go into, I was not happy with a specific decision. I made it to my car before the tears started falling.

Over and over I asked God, WHY? WHY? WHY???

It felt very isolating. Very frustrating. I did not feel heard. I did not feel validated for my expertise. And… yeah. I didn’t feel like God noticed or cared.

I put it “on the back burner” and dried my tears (because… driving) and headed off to work out. I didn’t want to, but knew I needed to expend some energy and burn off some of my frustration with whatever was in store for me.*

The words reminded me… God is there. All along. With me. With you. In those impossible moments of WHYS? God’s Goodness is still there.

I’m still mad. I’m still frustrated. But I’m walking this one in the Spirit’s embrace, with more awareness and peace. OK, sometimes stumbling and then throwing things… but walking.

May it encourage you.

*In case you’re interested:

  • Clean, jerk and press (10 pounds, I’m a wimp!)
  • TRX work out for curls and lunges.
  • Medicine ball slams and planks.
  • 45 minutes of cardio on the treadmill, bike and elliptical

What cometh before a fall?

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

So says the writer of Proverbs, anyway. (16:18 if you’re playing along for points.)

This evening just before things were completely dark outside, I heard our wind chimes singing mightily in the back yard. I rushed out the back door, grateful the rain had stopped, if only for a moment or two. The chimes were glorious and a fitting “Amen” to a weekend of rain and wind. And then… I hit a slick spot on the slate pavers on our patio and went DOWN in a glorious splat.

Yes. Ow. Very much ow.

IMG_4914I sat there for a moment, the wind knocked out of me, in pain. Nothing appeared broken. The only thing sprained is my dignity (even though no one was there to see my acrobatics, I did have to text my beloved to come and help me stand up, as I was shocked and wobbly.) I left a large dry spot on the slate approximately the size of my backside, and a lovely mossy skid mark on my jeans.

The Proverbs quote came to mind. I don’t believe it was a haughty spirit that caused my butt-first landing. I thought wryly to myself that actually, in this case, inattention came before the fall. Or maybe it was rushing. Or perhaps multi-tasking.

Sometimes stuff just happens. This wasn’t out of meanness. It wasn’t to teach me some cosmic lesson. It was just the cumulative effect of six inches of rain in 3 days on a slate patio.

My pants will wash and I imagine any bruises I’ve collected will fade in a week or two. At the moment, I’m headed for the couch with an ice pack and an afghan and maybe some crocheting. It’s not been the best of weeks, to be honest. But not the worst, either. I’m grateful for friends, for family, for a steadying hand when I need it the most.

Whatever has caused you to fall flat today, may you leave the buttprints behind, and know that the universe is not conspiring against you, either.

A heart song that has been speaking to me this week is this song “You Say” by Lauren Daigle. May it encourage you.