Book Review: Indigo

book cover: indigo by johnathan j foster

When I heard about this book, I immediately asked if I could snag a copy for review. As someone who is in her own grief journey, I wanted to find out what someone else was expressing in theirs. The book did not disappoint. Jonathan Foster has provided another way through the hellscape of mourning.

This slim volume of free verse expresses the writer’s understanding of his grief and invites others to explore what is happening, deep down, in their space. Foster acknowledges the pain, the realities, the gut-wrenching emotional, physical, and psychological upheaval in grief. He mourns his daughter’s death and the challenges of learning how to cope with this upheaval. There were many places where I would read a phrase, and my breath would catch and my eyes fill with tears, as I thought, “Yes. Me too.”
…little detonations of sadness
…she was unfinished song
…you must learn how to allow the sadness
…”anemic platitudes” (from well-meaning people)
…my “no-thing” is connected to some-thing and that some-thing just might be love

Foster also had insight into why people offer ill-timed advice or “ghost” a mourning person: He suggests that people cannot bear to consider the intensity of your problems because it reminds them of the intensity of their problems (p 87). Call it transference or cluelessness, it happens to a grieving person. A lot.

It was ironic to read that Foster also heard some of the worst advice from church people. He shared the story of a church member who told him that he could just overcome his grief if he would listen to only Christian radio for 90 days. As if! (I shuddered with the author at that idea!) Like Foster, I also had experienced the theologically obtuse comments that “God must have needed another angel” and “everything happens for a reason.” Because – when you are riding the waves of grief’s emotional chaos, these comments are not only unhelpful, they challenge the very existence of a God Who Hears.

As to why the title, you will find your own Indigo memories and emotions in this book. You’ll struggle (a lot) and cry (probably), but you will be able to consider the possibilities of what grief gives and takes. You will discover new ideas for meaning-making in your own grief wallows. And there is nothing prescriptive about it. (WHEW! Haven’t we had enough “steps“ of grief predefined for us which do not work and are limiting in our recovery process?)

I may lend out this volume. But, more likely, I’ll keep it closeby to re-read when I’m in the midst of my own Indigo moments and need a reminder that The Divine is still Present.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”