It’s a busy week for everyone, this week before Christmas. And I had grand plans to stay AHEAD of the curve on my charting… but it was not to be. The IT gremlins decided to have a little fun.

This afternoon, my work laptop decided that it was on strike. Or something. Despite all of my usual tricks (hard reboot, remove the battery, yelling the seven words you can’t say on TV, and oh yes… praying… (I am a pastor. Occasionally I remember that I can pray. And, just like you, sometimes that’s not the first thing I do…)

Anyway, despair gave way to dark humor, and during the hour-plus I was on the phone with IT not getting my laptop fixed, I came up with this parody. (Apologies to all you IT folk out there… maybe.)

~0——0~

On the first day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the second day of Christmas, I had to call IT,,
“What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the third day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the fourth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the fifth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“FIVE minutes MORRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the sixth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the seventh day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.

On the eighth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“The servers are all crashing,
Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the ninth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“There is no solution,
The servers are all crashing,
Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the tenth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Sorry I can’t help you,
There is no solution,
The servers are all crashing,
Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On the eleventh day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“I’m not trained on SunCoast,
Sorry I can’t help you,
There is no solution,
The servers are all crashing,
Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and
Please hold for the rep from IT.”

On twelfth day of Christmas, I had to call IT,
“Where is the corkscrew?
I’m not trained on SunCoast,
Sorry I can’t help you,
There is no solution,
The servers are all crashing,
Re-enter your password,
Pizza for dinner,
FIVE minutes MORRRRRRRE?
Could your restart your router?
Reboot your computer,
What’s your ticket number? and…
Please hold for the rep from I…T…”