I spent this last week at the ADEC (Association for Death Education and Counseling) annual conference in Baltimore. I came home with information, ideas, lots of free pens and post-its, and some new friends. I also have a mind full of research ideas and questions.
Towards the end of the last day, I sat in the meditation room, overlooking the Baltimore Harbor.
There was a lot of traffic. Sailboats. Ferries. Pleasure boats. Cars, buses and trucks. And foot traffic.
From my perspective, I could see the ebb and flow of traffic, the places where the traffic patterns would ease soon, and where there would be a longer wait. I watched people shiver in the shade (the breeze was quite chilly) and watched them take off jackets and sweaters when they sat for a while in the sun. In short, I could see patterns and purpose in what were minor inconveniences.
There are many times that I complain, “I JUST don’t GET it, God!”
My frustration, in the moment, is because I can’t see from a Divine perspective. I sat in the room for a while, watching, waiting and praying. My vantage point helped me reflect and be at peace.
I have perspective, but no clear destination. Even so, it is a wonderful experience to sit and feel the warmth of God’s care for me. I don’t need all the answers to experience that.
It brought to mind this quote by Thomas Merton:
My Lord God I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that my desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
So, so true. God never leaves nor forsakes us.