What now, God?

There are times in chaplaincy when, outside of the medical treatment team, I have an inkling of the storm that is ahead. While I am not a diagnostician, and I surely am not educated in the ins and outs of prognosis, there are moments, nevertheless, where I see and perceive that change is coming.

Like many chaplains, I want to support patients and families at all points in their medical journey, not just at the crisis points. However, the crises are where we are needed and our skills are most often applied. I am grateful for every encounter, every opportunity, to offer hope and prayer and perspective, such as I perceive it in my limited way.

In these moments, as the crisis looms and the storm is about to break, I pray. This photo was taken one evening as we waited for the thunderstorm to reach the beach house where we were staying. The parallels with my chaplaincy were pretty clear. And so was the Eternal promise of security, peace, and protection.



I watch and wait.
There is nothing I can do.
The “problem” isn’t mine to address.
The solution is beyond the scope of my care.

I see the storm brewing.
I feel the breeze quicken.
I watch the first raindrops fall;
I suggest that we look at the forecast.

I am ignored…

I search the skies
to find the heart of God,
to hear the voice or hope,
to gain wisdom.

There is silence…

There are times it is so hard
to just “walk away” —
but I do.

There is something I will do, though: I pray.

Dear Lord,

You know what unremitting pain is like.

You know how it feels to be abandoned. You know.
You have been and are Present
for those who suffer.

Shine Your light. Dispel the darkness. Shower Your grace. Bring Your peace.

Please give me words to speak. And until it is time, May I be…




I offer these lyrics for reflection. (I’m not so much a fan of the music for this one…)

On My Way Home by Enya

I have been given
One moment from heaven
As I am walking
Surrounded by night,
Stars high above me
Make a wish under moonlight.

On my way home
I remember
Only good days.
On my way home
I remember all the best days.
I’m on my way home
I can remember
Every new day.

I move in silence
With each step taken,
Snow falling round me
Like angels in flight,
Far in the distance
Is my wish under moonlight.

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