We call this his “bliss face.” It’s the contented, trusting, relaxed attitude of a cat who knows that all is well. And it’s the picture I hold in my mind when I meditate on resting in God’s perfect peace. This morning I read from Philippians 4 and was again encouraged by these words…

 ⁴ Be glad in the Lord always! Again I say, be glad! ⁵ Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people. The Lord is near. ⁶ Don’t be anxious about anything; rather bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. ⁷ Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.

⁸ From now on, brothers and sisters, if anything is excellent and if anything is admirable, focus your thoughts on these things: all that is true, all that is holy, all that is just, all that is pure, all that is lovely, and all that is worthy of praise. ⁹ Practice these things: whatever you learned, received, heard, or saw in us. The God of peace will be with you.

 

I had a decision to make this morning, and I thought I knew the answer. To my surprise, what I thought was a “YES” was a “NO.”

Of course I argued.

And God said, NO. Not “NO” as in “never” but “NO” as in “not at this time.”

I confess to being a little puzzled. However, I have a very dim understanding as to why. I am still “in training” as I finish my CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) this year. At the conclusion of my fourth unit in the spring of 2012, I will either be applying to become a Supervisor-In-Training for ACPE, a resident, or be in pursuit of full time work. I will also be applying for my BCC (Board Certified Chaplain) and that in itself is a HUGE task. And the time that I would be most engaged in this process will be the spring and summer of 2012. In the timing of a “perfect storm,” that is exactly when this new responsibility would have begun.

Sigh…

There’s also other factors… Reedy Girl is a junior in high school and is beginning to mull over her college options. We will likely be doing some tours next spring and summer. Bearded Brewer and I are stepping up our involvement in our church, which is another constraint on my time. And there’s other irons in the fire that I need to discern and accept or decline. (This “NO” might not be the only one I give in the coming months!)

I did a little bargaining with God. (“How about if I…”) And I also whined, begged and “suggested.” There was no peace until I said, “OK, not now.”

So. I am a wee bit annoyed at the Almighty, but I am also trying to listen. Because things go a lot better that way.

As I think on the excellent, admirable, holy, just, pure, lovely and praiseworthy things of God, that peace does come. I’m no clearer on the “why” of God’s timing. But I sure am confident of the “Who” that leads.