There’s been all kinda stuff that happens at work… sometimes it is really hard for me to get past the idiocy of some management decisions…  Yeah, we all make mistakes, but sometimes, when the concept or decision is proven to be stupid and then the reaction is a 20 foot thick brick wall of defensiveness, you just wonder why.

And then God reminds me to get over it.

In CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) there is this self-awareness process of facing what you don’t say (or do)
considering what you offer to do (or don’t)
evaluating why you even bring a conversation to the table (or don’t)
Even NOT mentioning an issue can mean it comes up for grabs.

I’m really good at bluster and bravado and getting very self-righteous about what I think is right. It’s an easy way out of needing to really address an issue, or worse, to care.

BUT… God is not letting me get away with not caring, and I’m not able to disengage, either.

The words of an old song by The Byrds came to mind… (yeah, I’m dating myself…)

…I know all too well
How to turn, how to run
How to hide behind
A bitter wall of blue
But you die inside
If you choose to hide
So I guess instead, I`ll love you.

I must choose to love.

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