Friday Five: "Don’t Call It a Comeback" Edition

Will smama from RevGals offers this bah humbug Friday Five. And she made me laugh — hard — mid-paper! Gotta LOVE her!

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow. I know, I know…. pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities. Peace, friends.

Please tell us your least favorite/most annoying seasonal….

1) dessert/cookie/family food

This is NO contest. Can there be ANYTHING more inedible than a fruitcake? Yes, I know you can add brandy or rum to them and that is supposed to “help” them taste better. I can think of other things that would do those spirits justice. Fruitcake. BLICK. EW.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc…) Hmmmm…. the only thing I can think of is that fizzy green punch with the ice ring floating in it that has ginger ale and sherbet in it and is sickly sweet.

3) tradition (church, family, other)
Bad Christmas music. Sung by people who think they can sing, but they can’t. One of us needs more eggnog. I would prefer it be me. See Bonus below…

4) decoration

Blue lights, strung like a glow worm in a bad design across a bush or two. Or maybe those huge inflated snowglobes???

5) gift (received or given) That’s a toughie. Might be the electric knife that didn’t cut anything (and I found crumbs in the box so I think the giver had already found out it didn’t cut anything either.)

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.
We have all heard a soloist give a truly unfortunate rendition of any and all of the following…
PA RUM PUM PUM PUM and a partridge in a pear tree… and it’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size… I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus… Oh Night, oh Hooooooooooooooooohh {glass breaking} ooooooohhhh – leeeee – heeeeee nigh-TUH. Oh Niiiiiiiiiiiiiigh-TUH……. DEEEE-Vine!

There.
I feel better.
Even with three papers and 7 days in which to BS I mean write them.

Deb