I have a paper to finish, but this has to get written because it keeps inserting itself into my exegetical summary… which is most annoying! And since I am obviously not of a Turabian mind at the moment herewith is…
LESSONS IN SILENCE, PART TWO
I mentioned my short journey into silence this week here at Dayspring Retreat Center. There is another part to this story that has had me pondering with thankfulness.
My good friend Dana, fellow seminarian, Emmaus sponsor, prayer partner and all-round wonderful woman was unexpectedly also a participant at the silent retreat. What a shock (and a joy) to walk onto the porch of the retreat center and see her! After we laughed and hugged and laughed some more, I felt a touch from God that was a clear reminder, “See. I know what you need.” Yes. We spent the day in silence together. But knowing that she was around on the 200+ acres, also walking and talking with Jesus was just a delight to my heart. (This is Dana goofing around with “The Harpist” during Chick Week at the Beach.)
As I walked around the property, I spent a lot of time just listening to the sound of my footsteps blending with the beauty around me. I spent some time at the top of a hill overlooking a pond. There was no breeze, just blue sky, clouds, buzzards floating overhead, me, and God. I was wishing I had my camera when I had one of those “eureka” moments… (I snagged this picture from the Dayspring website… next time, I take my camera!)
Part of it was covered with a scum of algae.
And part of it, I could see a perfect reflection of the trees along one bank of the pond.
There’s stuff I can’t see clear to understand – the part that was obscured.
There’s part of my life I know and understand PERFECTLY – the part that is a perfect reflection… where God is seen and known in my life.
There’s part that is visible, but clouded by whatever life has caused to block the reflection. Sin. Mine. Others. We get in the way and we don’t see what God is doing. (And sometimes, algae stinks!!)
I wrote this in my journal as I sat there…
tasks, people, and assignments…
It’s meant to be a holy service.
For God and Him only.
There is posturing.
Elocution, diction and grammar.
A public “face” that covers pain.
Expectations and prejudice.
Self-righteousness and protectionism.
I know that is NOT what You want!
Show me the balance…
…of confidently resting
my Call in You
…of humbly accepting
Your direction and correction.
I believe in what You
ask me to do.
I long to be in that place
You have called me to.
I wrestle with waiting
until You move…
until Your appointed time comes…
I hear and obey.
September 5, 2007