More than enough…

Six weeks have gone by…Lent is done and the weeks of Easter are here. I have been pondering what I have really accomplished in six weeks. Oh sure, there’s been assignments ad nauseum for seminary. I don’t think that counts for much. You can’t measure life in terms of papers, projects and pseudo-sermons… At least, I sure don’t want to live life that way!!

So I have reflected on the last several weeks and considered what I’ve learned or watched others learn…

I feel as though I have not done enough. Not even close… and this is a bit discouraging.

  • I had some goals for Lent that I tried to take on this year. I wanted to give up chocolate, and commit to memorize Colossians 3. Lest anyone reading this think that being in seminary is some ticket to holiness, or that I’ve got it all-together, I’d like to tell you straight up – I blew it! I’ve learned that I do not have the self-discipline to watch with Him one hour… let alone deprive myself of six weeks of chocolate. Now that’s pretty lame! Not that I had chocolate that often… but I did not make it six weeks without it. And it was pretty interesting, because once I succumbed, it was easier and easier and easier to just have ‘one little taste’. And the memory work? Fuggedaboutit! I can’t blame it on anything other than a lack of desire to just DO it!
  • I listened to two bright, gifted Christian singles justify why they should be dating/marrying someone who is not a Christian… that it would be OK… that things would work out if they were kind enough or godly enough and that would bring their unbelieving partner to see Christ for Who He Is… I offered some gentle thoughts and was ignored (and in one case, yelled at for being “judgmental”) and so I leave their relationships in God’s Hands, since He is indeed better at caring for them anyway.
  • I watched as my mother-in-law, who by her own choices, made her life miserable and depressing… and knew that I could not change her attitude, but I could change my response to one of acceptance of her in her unhappiness (and not try to change it!) And my Beloved Bearded Spouse and I continue to struggle with this one…
  • I worshipped the Creator in the middle of the Baltimore Aquarium… Who else but GOD could had made fish with neon stripes and gave us birds who looked like their feathers came from a Crayola box??
  • I have missed seeing my family, and spending time with them at the beach as we have done many a spring break…
  • I have been moved to tears by music, to laughter by a cat and her wuzzled catnip mouse, to silence by a bird’s song in my window, to words of hope from a morning scripture reading…

I am so far from where I could be. I can look back and see little glimpses of God at work in and through me. Was it all I could have done? Not nearly. Fortunately, God’s love for me does not depend on my ability to DO anything… it rests only in what He DID!

All of you is more than enough for all of me,
for ev’ry thirst and ev’ry need.
You satisfy with with Your love..
‘Cause all I have in You
is more than enough…
[Chris Tomlin]

Yes… He satisfies and it is indeed MORE than “enough” for me…

From our home to yours…

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