Five or six blog posts have been clicked into the ol’ electronic trashcan in the last week. I’m still struggling to write without being insensitive, impolitic or stupid. (The three are not equal. Though they could be.)

The short of it is this: there’s been a round of RIFs at my place of work. Some of them are due to organizational restructuring. Some of them are simply because the departments made cuts to meet budgets. And some of them… well, we don’t know why. It is what it is. There isn’t a department that hasn’t taken a hit.

People are hurt and angry, and I’m supposed to be pastoral. But I have my own set of unaskable questions, and, simply put, it hurts.

God has a way of ripping control out of our carefully manufactured circumstances. I have done some soul-searching and I’m continuing to ask and seek to understand. For now, God asks I trust. And listen. And look for God’s way in the midst of bewildering twists and turns.

I was clicking through some of my photos from last summer’s trip to Colorado, and I came upon the one of the double rainbow. It’s the glimmer of hope I’m clinging to right now. I was reminded that only God sees the “end” of the rainbow. We see the refraction in the middle, but not the length of time it will last, the breadth of its span, the weather system and atmospheric conditions which cause it…

I have no clarity of understanding. I just have hope that God knows and watches and cares.