It has been thought-provoking being on the outside looking in the last few weeks. And all because I am not in the right group of moms…
Much to her dismay, we signed up 11 year old CJ for a round of swimming lessons after she told us she is not comfortable in the deep end of the pool. I believe in some basic swimming competency, so that was it. Click and swish through an on-line sign-up… She was in the class. SUCCESS!!
This has meant several early summer mornings over the last 2 weeks, trekking to the pool and doing the burbia mom waiting game. Since we have not been in lessons this all summer, I didn’t know the drill and apparently committed a faux pas… I sat in the shade where the “swim team moms” like to sit.
At first, they ignored me. There was an empty table, shaded and out of the way. I found a corner, pulled out my book and read. The second day, things were spread over most of the table. I picked another shady corner and sat down. The third day, I was pointedly told that “only swim team parents sit here.” (Mind you, this is a public pool and a public area.)
Shrug.
OK, fine. Except that it is 95 degrees in the shade. I was not going to sit in the sun! So I smiled and said, “oh, it’s only for a half hour class.” And sat down anyway. The glares and pointed conversations were obvious signals from these women that they were sure I was stupid. I put in my iPod ear buds (great way to ignore people… I can see why teens love them!) …and went back to reading.
And I have not tried to shoe-horn my way into the shade since. In fact, I have dragged a chair away from the tables to a piece of shade that no one has apparently claimed. I would rather have met some moms, perhaps made a new friend. (That’s the extrovert in me.) But even I could figure out that I was NOT welcome!
So it made me think…
When someone comes to church for the first time, do I notice? Do I make them feel welcome? Do I care if they sit in “my” usual row or seat? Do I find ways to encourage them to come back? (Hey, if CJ suddenly took off in her swimming skills and was a little fish, do you think I would pick THIS swim team for her to join??? Not in a million years!) Do I MAKE ROOM for someone when I am comfortable with who I already know and talk to and have in my life???
It’s much easier to play it safe. It’s much more risky to find room…
Matthew 25:32
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in…
From our home to yours…
Deb